Let’s Get Candid
Hello and welcome to the inner workings of my mind. I have decided to resurrect my blog, Candidly Christina, from college. Here she is in all of her glory, on ChristinaLaderoute.com.
I want this post to focus on new beginnings. Life is full of changes and endings, but I have decided to not focus on the past. Obviously, that is easier said than done, especially for me, someone who ruminates and lives in the past.
Please bear with me as I find my voice and vision with this blog. I can guarantee it won’t be consistent, and honestly it might be a bit confusing at times, but that is how my life is as well. So, welcome to it!
Something that I have fallen in love with lately is travel. I have always loved travel, but I hadn’t done much of it prior to last year. Aside from an eighth grade DC trip and a couple trips to Florida, I hadn’t seen much of the world. Now, I can say that I have seen multiple states such as California, Arizona, Minnesota, Georgia, and some others that I have can’t recall at the moment. My most exciting trip and the accomplishment I am most proud of has to be IRELAND! After dreaming of the Emerald Isle for 10+ years, I finally booked a trip and went in 2021. It was magical. No. Magical doesn’t even begin to describe it. I really am at a loss for words on the beauty of that country. The best way I can word it is that I had incredibly high (10 years’ worth) expectations and I was left speechless because my expectations were exceeded… that’s one of the most difficult things to do. I am very easily disappointed because I make up all of these dreamy scenarios in my head. Boy, this was not one of those times.
Another exciting moment that is coming up… I’m going to Ireland again in 9 days. Say what!!! Yeah, I couldn’t stay away. I literally booked this trip within a week of coming back. I am already planning my next trip for after this one too. I will most certainly be writing about this upcoming trip so stay tuned if you’re into that kind of stuff. I know I am.
Most, if not all, of my travelling has been related to photography – aside from Ireland. Now, let me bring you into my next topic: photography. In 2021, I was hired as a photographer/videographer for a dance competition called In10sity. If you’re familiar with the dance world, you may know this competition from the show, Dance Moms. The dancers competed at this competition multiple times. It was very exciting to be working for such a popular company, and doing what I love, nonetheless. I traveled to Atlanta, Sarasota, and Minneapolis with In10sity before I decided to part ways with the company. I was living the dream by getting paid to do photography, but quitting was the best thing I could have done for my mental and physical health. For the sake of my time and my sanity, I will leave it at that. However, if you’re interested in knowing more about my experience, slide into my DMs.
Now, I am joyfully employed by a brand-new dance competition company, Gravit8. It is refreshing to have a boss that takes feedback so seriously and genuinely cares about the well-being of their staff. With Gravit8, I have traveled to Phoenix, Los Angeles, and San Francisco. I do have to say that the west coast shows are slowly killing me. Sitting on a plane for 6+ hours only to have a full 15-hour workday on Saturday and then fly back home is exhausting to say the least. However, I love what I do. Getting to take photos of talented dancers, as well as “see” the world, is priceless. I say “see” because the only time I get to see any sights is in the car to the venue, or in the plane. It could be worse, but I am so sad that I didn’t get a chance to see the botanical garden in Phoenix. I will be back in May, so perhaps then.
Amidst all of this travel and the general craziness of life, I have taken more time than ever to really be alone with myself and think. I think I understand philosophy now. Just kidding, that will forever fry my brain, but I really know myself. I have been on a journey of self-discovery since 2020 and I have learned a lot about who I am, how my mind works, and who I want to be going forward. I was recently diagnosed with bipolar disorder, so my new journey is managing that and healing from ten years of misdiagnosis. I was put on a new medication called Vraylar, so right now I am tapering off my Celexa that was prescribed for depression. I noticed a difference within 3 days. My mood is a lot more stable, and I find that my mind is a lot quieter than it has been in a long time. It’s refreshing.
Alongside my mental health excursions, I have also just been working on myself as a human. I like to sit and reflect on how I feel about things and try to figure out why I feel that way. I have done a lot of healing from childhood trauma because of it. I am nowhere near where I want to be, but that’s part of the process, right?
I feel like I am not the same person that I was in 2020. As awful as the pandemic was/is, I am grateful for it because it forced me to look deep within myself and decide who I want to be. It wasn’t easy and I am still a work in progress, but in the words of the lovely, Taylor Swift, “I’m doing better than I ever was.”
Well, I think that’s all for now folks. I have to go get my hair done.
Christina xx
